Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Gone But Not Forgotten!

I started to write this post back on New Year’s Eve, but didn't quite feel up to sharing it with you then.

You may already know that my dad passed away at the beginning of December. It was a HUGE shock to the system and I'm still quite devastated by the whole thing.

My mum and dad are my everything! So much of my character comes from them! - My stubbornness, my OCD, the need to keep things that really should be thrown away. No it's not called hoarding! #sideeye. My love of football, these are just some of the things I have to thank my dad for. Back in the day, I used to help my dad fill in the pools slip; so come Saturday afternoon we would be glued to the TV to watch the results come in. #goodtimes

I miss the little things about him, his hands. The way he would purse his lips together when he watched TV. The straight face he held when he broke wind and I'd stare at him in disgust! - I'm quite positive he was laughing on the inside, but he never showed it! The way he said "bloody hell!" there's so much more I could list, but in short I just miss him!

There have been days where I've just wanted to lie in bed and sleep the day away, just so I don't have deal with it all! To say it's been a challenging time is an understatement! Not only having to deal with everything that came with repatriating him home, but also with people’s expectations of me! - It's been A LOT!!!

In the beginning I cried every day, some days harder than others. Now I don't cry so often! That doesn't mean the pain has gone away, it just means I'm starting to learn how to manage it! - They say time will help heal the pain, but I'm heartbroken, and there is nothing you can do to fix that! - It’s learning how to manage the pain that time helps with!

The last few months have been the most testing of my life to date and I'd like to thank all those that have shown their love, understanding, patience and support.

I could go on and on, but I won’t and I'll stop here and say, that yes I'll be back blogging and filling up your timeline sooner than you know (I have a lot planned) but it may take me a minute or two!

Nwakaibie Daniel Njaka 1936 - 2010

7 comments:

Tanisha said...

Sorry to hear about your loss. I know what its like to loose a loved one thats so close and dear to your heart. Just know that the next best place to be is with God. Although i don't know him, he seemed like a wonderful man from what you wrote. Also by the picture he's very handsome as well.

Karleigh said...

Hi Dee, it's been a while girl!
So sorry to hear about your loss, I too lost a loved one a few days before Christmas so believe me when I say I understand.
I hope you're well and am very much looking forward to seeing your posts, you was always such an enabler!
xxxx

SparklesandLipgloss said...

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Thinking of you and your family. Take care :) xx

Louise said...

Such a sweet post you have my up most love and sympathy - time isn't a healer it just gives you time to learn to cope and from someone who has been there you will cope xxx

Mrs Hirons said...

Darling Didi,

I lift you, your family and especially your Dad up in my prayers and send you all my love.

Friends will support you, pay no mind to people putting demands on you at this incredibly trying time. They are not worthy of your time, attention or distraction.

We love you Didi.

Cxxx

Ondo Lady said...

This is such as touching blog post, thanks for sharing your story with us. May your dad rest in peace!

Sarah said...

Hey Didi, really sorry to hear you've been going through this. It sounds like you had an amazing relationship with your dad. You're sounding so brave and noble in your post - I bet you're dealing way better than you know. Sending you good thoughts. x

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